instructions

• Cook the dog. Grill it, boil it, or microwave it like a true patriot in a hurry. You'll know it's ready when it looks slightly more confident than when it started.
• Address the bun. Cradle the potato bun like the soft, pillowy national treasure it is. Toasting optional but encouraged. Do not, under any circumstances, disrespect the potato bun.
• Unite dog and bun. Take a moment. This is the union our founders dreamed of.
• Apply condiments. Ketchup and mustard in whatever ratio your conscience allows. For the bold, introduce relish. Stripes optional, freedom mandatory.
• Serve and salute. Consume immediately, ideally outdoors, ideally while something explodes in the sky.